A couple of months ago, Danielle Bean asked over at Faith & Family Live!: "What three things would you tell someone who is about to get married?"
I've spent a few months with that link on my bookmark bar, intending to give it some thought and put those thoughts into words, and here goes... at long last:
What three things would I tell someone who is about to get married?
1) Listen Diligently
This is tough... especially for us men. Suzanne likes to joke that when she starts to talk sometimes, I must actually hear the "wha wha wha wha" of Miss Othmar (the teacher) on Peanuts.
But the times when our marriage are at its best are when I stop down whenever I hear her talking and really focus on what she's saying - and vice-versa.
It's worth the time and attention of listening diligently.
2) Think Before You Speak
Sometimes the evil one tempts us pretty darn diligently to say something that'll hurt the other. The first time Suzanne and I were having a really good going-at-it, we were parked in the Target parking lot. One thing was said, then another, and the next thing I knew, she was crying. That killed me. It hurt so bad that something I had slipped up and said had made her cry.
I learned really quickly that I love her enough to think twice and to make sure I really mean what I'm about to say, and that it's not a cheap shot or an unfair characterization of whatever we're discussing.
Now I do my best to Think Before I Speak and be sure it's honest, fair, constructive, and said in love.
3) Never Leave Dirty Dishes in the Sink
For some couples, it's whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or from the end. For Suzanne, it's all about cleanliness.
Monday of the week after our wedding (when we returned from our honeymoon and had wrapped up moving Suzanne into my apartment over the weekend), I woke up to a sparkling clean, bright, shiny bathroom in my apartment. I momentarily thought I had woken up in the wrong apartment. I hadn't seen a bathroom that clean since I had moved out of my parents' house.
Come to realize, Suzanne couldn't live with my bachelor lifestyle. That weekend, when she got her first view of the bathroom upstairs in my apartment, she had promptly waved her magic cleaning wand. From that moment, I knew things would be different.
I've learned that one of the things that disappoints her most is when I leave dirty dishes in the sink. The sink might as well not be existent. If it's dirty, it deserves to be washed immediately or put into the dishwasher. I'm not perfect with it, but I'm getting there, since I know it's so important to her.
If you enjoyed this, know that Patrick Archbold over at Creative Minority Report had a take on this as well. Check it out too.
I've spent a few months with that link on my bookmark bar, intending to give it some thought and put those thoughts into words, and here goes... at long last:
What three things would I tell someone who is about to get married?
1) Listen Diligently
This is tough... especially for us men. Suzanne likes to joke that when she starts to talk sometimes, I must actually hear the "wha wha wha wha" of Miss Othmar (the teacher) on Peanuts.
But the times when our marriage are at its best are when I stop down whenever I hear her talking and really focus on what she's saying - and vice-versa.
It's worth the time and attention of listening diligently.
2) Think Before You Speak
Sometimes the evil one tempts us pretty darn diligently to say something that'll hurt the other. The first time Suzanne and I were having a really good going-at-it, we were parked in the Target parking lot. One thing was said, then another, and the next thing I knew, she was crying. That killed me. It hurt so bad that something I had slipped up and said had made her cry.
I learned really quickly that I love her enough to think twice and to make sure I really mean what I'm about to say, and that it's not a cheap shot or an unfair characterization of whatever we're discussing.
Now I do my best to Think Before I Speak and be sure it's honest, fair, constructive, and said in love.
3) Never Leave Dirty Dishes in the Sink
For some couples, it's whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or from the end. For Suzanne, it's all about cleanliness.
Monday of the week after our wedding (when we returned from our honeymoon and had wrapped up moving Suzanne into my apartment over the weekend), I woke up to a sparkling clean, bright, shiny bathroom in my apartment. I momentarily thought I had woken up in the wrong apartment. I hadn't seen a bathroom that clean since I had moved out of my parents' house.
Come to realize, Suzanne couldn't live with my bachelor lifestyle. That weekend, when she got her first view of the bathroom upstairs in my apartment, she had promptly waved her magic cleaning wand. From that moment, I knew things would be different.
I've learned that one of the things that disappoints her most is when I leave dirty dishes in the sink. The sink might as well not be existent. If it's dirty, it deserves to be washed immediately or put into the dishwasher. I'm not perfect with it, but I'm getting there, since I know it's so important to her.
If you enjoyed this, know that Patrick Archbold over at Creative Minority Report had a take on this as well. Check it out too.
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